[Written for: www.TrustedFAQ.com]
The bar or club is a great place to meet women who just want to have some fun with her girlfriends. It’s not the best place for mingling and finding someone to date because women see men at bars and clubs as party-goers who are only interested in one-night stands, not long term relationships or any sort of relationships.
Maybe you’ve had luck getting girls’ numbers and/or taking them home with you after a late night out drinking and dancing, but are those really the type of women you want to date? If you have not gotten so lucky finding the right women at the bars or clubs, there are reasons for that. At bars or clubs, women see a flood of different men they can pick and choose from, it’s really hard to have a conversation through the loud music and she’ll see you glued to your drink, making you look like a drunk.
Approaching women in less obvious places will get you more bonus points from her, especially since she will get to see more of your true personality and not a party-goer trying to pick up girls. So here are some top places to find women that let you think outside the bar:
1. The Gym or Group Fitness Classes
You should already be going to the gym to help build your self-image, but it’s also a great place to meet women. If you’re a regular and you see a woman that goes to the gym around the same time as you, she’s probably noticed you too. Next time you see her using a machine, ask her if you can take turns to use the machine after each rep and introduce to yourself.
Also try taking fitness classes, which are stereotypically female-dominant. Not only will you get to change to your workout routine, but you’ll also be in a room full of women. I recommend taking pilates, yoga or Zumba classes. You may or may not feel really uncomfortable at first, but I guarantee you that there will be at least one woman that will applaud you for trying. If they don’t approach you (which, I’m so sure they will), crack a joke at someone of interest like, “this class just kicked my ass.” It’s inviting and totally non-invasive.
Lastly, do avoid women who are on cardio machines or are in deep concentration on weight lifting machines. They are probably the ones dripping sweat, getting a real workout and probably have no interest in talking to you. Instead, go to the stretching area because that’s where most of the women go at the start and end of their workout. If a woman is stretching, ask her how she got so flexible—usually she’ll say it’s because of dance or gymnastics she did when she was younger—and start the conversation from there.
2. Networking Events
Networking events are not only great for your professional life, but it’s also a great place to meet career-oriented women. When you see a woman of interest the next time you go to a networking event, just go up to her and introduce yourself. Because it’s a networking event, she won’t think that you’re hitting on her. Keep the conversation light and casual. Talk about what you do first and then migrate to more personal topics.
If you need help finding networking events, Meetup.com is a great place to look for all sorts of events near you based on activities, interests or a cause. So go where you actually have interests like a hiking event or a Hackathon instead of where you think you’ll find women. That way, if you do find women that you’re attracted to at the events of your interest, you’ll immediately have something to talk to her about.
3. Dinner Parties
Dinner parties are a great way to get to know your friends’ friends because people are encouraged to bring guests with them. If you don’t get invited to too many dinner parties, why not host your own? Ask each of your invitees to bring at least one guest to the dinner party. This way as a host, you have to meet and talk to everyone that comes through the door.
Prepare some simple dinner party games that will get people talking and mingling. Keep all conversations light and friendly to everyone. At the end of the night, go around exchanging contacts with everyone new that you met. If there was a woman that you liked, text her later that evening thanking her for coming to your dinner party and that you hope to see her again soon.
4. Grocery Stores
You’re going to need to go to the grocery store anyways to pick up some food, why not knock down two birds with one stone? The grocery store, especially at organic/high-end ones like Trader Joes or Whole Foods, is going to be full of local women.
If there’s a woman briskly walking down the aisle, it might be hard to catch a conversation with her. However, if she’s slowly browsing through the aisles or waiting in line by the cash register, ask her a question about one of the food items she’s picked out For instance, “I’ve always wanted to cook that, but don’t know how. Do you have any suggestions?” This opens up a natural conversation that she’d be willing to answer. Talk some more about food and cooking before you introduce yourself. If she really likes you, she’ll either let you browse the grocery store with you (if you met her while shopping) or wait for you after she’s paid for her items (if you met her in line).
5. Museums
Museums are another great place to meet women because you can utilize the environment to talk to them. For instance, if you spot a women that you like staring into an art, approach her and tell her what you think of the art and then ask her for her opinion.
One way to know whether she’s interested in you is to move her to another art piece. If she walks with you then she wants to continue conversing with you. If not, she’ll probably say something like, “I prefer to browse the museum on my own, thanks.” If she is walking with you, do keep her interested by asking her a lot of questions like, “do you do any art?” or “where’s the best museum you’ve been to?”
6. Coffee Shops
Most people go into coffee shops just for a quick order and go, but those who are sitting down with their laptops or notebooks opened are usually there for the long haul. So the next time you go to a coffee shop, bring something you can work on, too, so that you blend in with the rest of the long-haulers.
If you spot a woman that you’d like to talk to, sit at the table next to her and open your mini workspace. Then, ask her with a friendly smile if she can guard your stuff while you put in your drink order. When you come back, thank her and introduce yourself. If she’s responsive to your introduction, ask her what she’s working on and carry the conversation from there.
7. Airports/During Flights
It’s not uncommon for men to strike up conversations with women while they’re waiting in line for TSA security check or during a flight. The trick in these settings is to not be a creeper. If one of the first couple of things that you say to her include, “where are you going?” this might actually come across as creepy, so do be careful.
If you’re in line at the security check point, make a comment about her luggage. For instance, if she doesn’t have any carry-ons with her say, “wow, I’ve never met any women who pack as light as you,” or if she has a lot with her, say “you must be going somewhere really far!” Say something light and as a comment more than a question.
Also, once you’ve gotten an introduction in, do ask when her flight is taking off. If she’s the type of women who likes to go to the airport late, she’s probably more interested in making it to her flight on time than talking to you. If she has a plethora of time, ask her if she’d like to join you for a coffee.
If you happen to meet a woman that you’re interested in sitting next to you during the flight, say hello. Then ask her if the place you are going is her final destination. Introduce yourself and keep the conversation light in case she doesn’t want to talk to you.
8. Retail Stores
Retail stores are another great place where you can use your environment to strike up a conversation. Next time you go into your favorite store, browse around the women’s section—if it’s a store with both men and women sections. Once you spot a woman you’d like to talk to, pick out a piece of clothing and ask her what she thinks of it. Just pretend that you are shopping for a sister or a female friend. If she seems interested in you, tell her a subtle compliment like, “actually, that looks great on you, it brings out your eyes.”
One rule of thumb though, don’t hit on the women that are actually working at the retail stores. They probably have plenty of guys bothering them on a day-to-day basis anyways and are probably being friendly to sell you things.
9. Our Own Neighborhoods or Apartments
Neighborhoods and/or apartments are full of people who you probably don’t know or met, which means that there’s probably at least one woman that you’d be attracted to. Try staying near your mailbox or your lobby a little bit longer than usual to see whom you come across and say a friendly hello and introduce yourself.
It definitely helps if you have a really cute dog. If you don’t however, maybe you can offer your friends or neighbors who do, to take it out for walks near your neighborhood. Dogs are pretty much chick magnets.
10. Classrooms
Taking classes not only increase your chances of meeting women, but you also become a more interesting person. Whether it’s a painting class or a language class, getting outside of your comfort zone gives you a story to tell and expands your horizons.
If there’s an attractive woman in your class, sit next to her and ask her for advice after class or talk about something that happened during class. It’s casual and natural. Then ask her what got her interested in taking that class.
There you have it men. Ten places to meet women that are not bars or clubs. So the next time you see a woman that you’re interested in at casual settings, go talk to her. Your chances of finding someone to date are higher in these top ten places than finding someone at a noisy bar or club.